自分のルーツを辿ると繋がる母からの４つの教訓 / Four Lessons from My Mother, Tracing My Roots

Please scroll to the bottom of the page for the English version.

バンクーバーで暮らし始めて約１年半が経ちます。過去の記事で何度も書いたように自分の価値観や生き方の変化や成長を日々感じます。

しかし根底にある自分の興味のあることや好きなもの、指針となる考え方は日本にいた頃から何も変わっていません。そのルーツを辿ると常に母からの影響に繋がります。その度に母の存在の偉大さを痛感します。

父は海外出張が多く仕事で忙しい人でした。さらに私が１４歳の時に東京への単身赴任がスタート。そのため父とは２６歳の時に私が東京へ引っ越したことをきっかけに頻繁に会うようになり、沢山の良い思い出を作りました。

物心がついた頃から愛知を離れる２６歳までは、父よりも母と過ごす時間が圧倒的に多く、母からの教育は私の人格形成の大部分を占めています。ここまで無事に私と兄を育ててくれたことに深く感謝をしています。さらに父も「本当によい教育で２人の子供を育て上げてくれた」と母に感謝の言葉を述べています。

今日はその母から受けた４つの教訓について執筆していきます。

下の写真は３年前の還暦祝いの旅行で撮った写真です。２人の思い出の旅館である長野県「石苔亭いしだ」にて。https://www.sekitaitei.com

自分の人格が形成された母からの４つの教訓

①全てのことに感謝の気持ちを持つ

自分が与えられた環境、持っているものに目を向けて感謝の気持ちを忘れないようにと常に母から教育を受けてきました。家族や友人、恋人、仕事、自由に行動できる健康な体、目に見える美しい景色、美味しく食事ができること、人と会話ができる声と言葉があること。数え出したらキリがないほど日常には、お金には変えられないもの貴重な幸せが溢れています。

私はバンクーバーで度々大きな壁にぶち当たります。しかしその度に感謝すべき点を見出し折れそうな心を持ち直す癖がついているのは母の教育のおかげです。

②母の高い美意識と美しいものを愛する気持ち

母はとても美しい人です。大学生の頃にファッションモデルの仕事をしていたほど。他校の生徒が母を見るために母の学校に来ることもあったそうです。

そんな美しい母は子供の頃から私の自慢です。授業参観に母が来るたびに１００%の確率で、クラスメイトや先生達に賞賛されました。そのため私は授業参観がいつも楽しみでした。

そんな母の美意識は非常に高く、外出するときはお化粧も髪型もファッションも完璧です。

私がファッションに興味を持って日本のアパレル企業で働いたのも、いつもお洒落な母の影響です。

私が芸術やフラワーデザインなどの美しいものに惹かれて人生選択をしていく価値観も常に美しい母と彼女が選んだ物で溢れた家で育ったからです。

バンクーバーに来ても仕事はフローリスト、彼氏はアーティスト、VVRとしてヴィンテージの服や小物を販売しています。バンクーバーに来て増し続ける美しい日本の文化を愛する気持ちも彼女の美意識とともに育った背景があります。

③鏡の法則

「人を幸せにした分、幸せは返ってくる。愛した分、愛される。」

「他人に対して怒る前にそれを受け流すしなやかさと寛大さが大切。」

相手に怒って不平不満を言っているうちは自分も同じレベルだと母に教育を受けました。そのレベルにいては同じようなことがまた起きるだけです。

学生の頃に学校で起きた小さな愚痴から社会人になって会社で起きた小言まで、母に話すたびに聞き上手の彼女は私の気持ちを理解してくれた上で「自分への反面教師になったこと」や「そこから学んだこと」を見出して、具体的な噛み砕き方としなやかに受け流す方法を伝えてくれました。

そうやって乗り越えて自分のレベルを上げていくうちに、苦手な相手は自然と周りから離れていきます。

これが母が教えてくれた「鏡の法則」です。

バンクーバーで多種多様の価値観に毎日のように遭遇します。それらに対して負の感情を抱く時ももちろんあります。しかしそれと同時に母からのこの教訓が常に脳裏によぎります。そして感情をポジティブにコントロールする強さに繋がっています。

④褒める教育で培われた自分の可能性を信じるマインド

子供の頃に図工で賞を獲った時には「アーティストになれるよ！」美味しく料理を作ったら「料理家になったら？」算数がとても得意だった小学生時代に、母に「数学者になったら？」と言われたことも覚えています。彼女は人を褒めるときの表現力が非常に豊かでそう言われる度にとても嬉しかったです。

それは今でも続いていて、自信作のフラワーアレンジメントの画像を送る度に彼女の豊富なボキャブラリーで褒めてくれます。

このブログもこまめにチェックして的確かつポジティブなコメントをくれます。

私が留学やバンクーバーのお花の仕事、Webライターなど新しいことに積極的に挑戦する性格になったのは母の褒めの教育が背景にあります。

母のエステティシャンとしての美容の知識

彼女は外見的な要素だけではなく、内側からの美の形成に繋がるスキンケアや美容の知識が豊富です。この類のことに私はとても疎いです。これが唯一母から受け継げなかった教訓です。笑

母は自分の知識とスキルを生かしてエステティシャンの仕事をしています。私も何度も母からエステの施術を受けましたが、気持ちが良すぎて寝てしまうこともあります。さらに押さえるべき顔から肩の全てのツボを熟知しているため、翌日の肌の状態が明らかに違います。

もし愛知県で良いエステティシャンをお探しの方がいらっしゃいましたら、是非こちらの「エンゼルハート」がおすすめです。母とオーナーのスキルの高さはもちろん店内はとても平和的でリラックスできる空気感に包み込まれています。肌の状態だけでなく、心も浄化されます。

エンゼルハートのWebサイトはこちらから→https://www.spa-angel.com

自分の得意分野を極めて、沢山のお客様を幸せにし続けている母を尊敬しています。

女性にとって「美」は人生の幸せを築く大きな要素です。

バンクーバーに来てから増し続ける母への感謝の気持ち

母の住む愛知県とバンクーバーは７７５２km離れています。母に会いたい気持ちは山々ですが、離れているからこそ増し続ける感謝の気持ちとともに、毎日のように母のことを考えます。

東京にいた頃よりもこまめに連絡をするようになりました。

それでも直接会って一緒に旅行をしたり、他愛もない話をすることが母が最も喜ぶことだと重々分かっています。１１月の１ヶ月間の日本帰国時は、私が実家で暮らしていた頃のように、母の部屋で色んな話をして沢山笑って過ごしたいです。

そして自分の好奇心や冒険心を満たしながらも、母と一緒に過ごす時間をもっと作れるように「本当の意味での自由の確立」に向けて自分自身を成長させていきます。

「本当の意味での自由とは？」の記事はこちら→https://ayakanoikigaidou.com/post-3595/

バンクーバーに来たからこそ日々強くなる家族への感謝の気持ちは、海外での生活に挑戦してよかったと思える大きな要素のひとつです。英語上達やバンクーバーでの人々との出会いや経験以外にも遠くに離れて住む家族への愛情が増し、それが自己成長へのモチベーションにもなります。

父からの５つの教訓はこちら→https://ayakanoikigaidou.com/post-1107/

ステップマザーからの４つの教訓はこちら→https://ayakanoikigaidou.com/post-2501/

留学やワーキングホリデーに興味がありつつも、なかなか行動に移すことができない方には、留学エージェントへの無料相談から始めることをお勧めします。

こちらが私のお勧めのエージェントです。ご興味ある方は是非ご覧ください。

夢カナ留学

心から感謝の気持ちを込めて、母にこの記事を送ります。

Four Lessons from My Mother, Tracing My Roots

It has been about a year and a half since I started living in Vancouver. As I have written in previous articles, I feel the changes and growth in my values and way of living every day.

However, the core of my interests, likes, and guiding principles have remained unchanged since my time in Japan. When I trace back my roots, they always lead to the profound influence of my mother. Each time, I keenly realize the significance of her presence.

My father used to have frequent business trips abroad and was a busy man at work. When I was 14, he started his solo assignment to Tokyo. It was only when I moved to Tokyo at the age of 26 that I began to meet my father frequently, creating many cherished memories together.

As a result, from the time I was old enough to understand, until I left Aichi at the age of 26, I spent significantly more time with my mother than my father. Her teachings and education have largely shaped my personality. I am deeply grateful for her successful upbringing of my brother and me. Furthermore, my father also expressed his gratitude to my mother, saying, “You raised our two children with truly excellent education.”

Today, I will write about four valuable lessons I learned from my mother.

The photo below was taken three years ago during a celebration trip for her 60th birthday. It was captured at the “Ishidatei Ishida,” a ryokan (traditional inn) filled with memories for both of us, located in Nagano Prefecture. https://www.sekitaitei.com

Four Lessons from My Mother, Shaping My Personality

① Gratitude in All Things

I have always received education from my mother to maintain a sense of gratitude for everything in life. She taught me to never forget to appreciate the environment I was given and the things I possess. There are countless things to be thankful for, such as family, friends, a partner, a job, a healthy body that allows me to move freely, the visible beauty of landscapes, the ability to enjoy delicious meals, and the gift of voice and language to communicate with others.

In everyday life, there is an abundance of precious happiness that cannot be bought with money.

In Vancouver, I often encounter significant challenges, but thanks to my mother’s teachings, I have developed a habit of finding points for which I should be grateful, even when my heart feels on the verge of breaking.

② Mother’s Elevated Sense of Beauty and Love for Beautiful Things

My mother is an incredibly beautiful person, to the extent that she worked as a fashion model during her college years. Other students from different schools would even come to my mother’s school just to catch a glimpse of her. Growing up with such a stunning mother has always been a source of pride for me. Every time she attended my school events, I was guaranteed to receive admiration from my classmates and teachers. As a result, school events were always something I looked forward to.

Her sense of beauty is exceptionally refined, and whenever she goes out, her makeup, hairstyle, and fashion are always impeccable. My interest in fashion and my decision to work in the apparel industry in Japan were influenced by my stylish mother.

The values guiding my life, such as being drawn to art and flower design, revolve around beautiful things, and this influence can be traced back to my childhood home filled with items carefully chosen by my mother.

Even after coming to Vancouver, I pursued a career as a florist, my partner is an artist, and I run VVR, where I sell vintage clothing and accessories. My appreciation for the beautiful aspects of Japanese culture that continue to thrive in Vancouver is also rooted in the sense of beauty instilled by my mother.

③ The Law of the Mirror

“As you bring happiness to others, happiness will return to you. As you give love, you will receive love in return.”

“Before getting angry with others, it is essential to be flexible and generous, letting things flow.”

My mother educated me with the belief that when we get upset with someone, it is crucial to let it pass with grace because being angry and complaining about others only keeps us at the same level, and similar situations will keep happening.

From minor grievances in school during my student days to petty complaints in the workplace as an adult, every time I shared my concerns with my mother, she was an attentive listener.

She understood my feelings and helped me find the “lessons learned” and “what I gained from the experience.” She taught me practical ways to break it down and let it flow with flexibility.

Through this process of overcoming challenges and elevating my own level, I found that difficult people naturally distanced themselves from me. This is the “Law of the Mirror” that my mother taught me.

In Vancouver, I encounter diverse values on a daily basis. There are times when negative emotions arise in response to them, but at the same time, this lesson from my mother always comes to mind. It has strengthened my ability to control my emotions positively.

④Believing in My Potential Cultivated through Encouraging Education

I remember when I was a child, winning an award in art class, and my mother said, ‘You could become an artist!’ Whenever I cooked something delicious, she would say, ‘You could become a chef!’

During elementary school, I excelled at mathematics, and my mother once said, ‘You could become a mathematician!’ Her expression of praise was always so rich, and it made me incredibly happy every time she said those things.

Even to this day, it continues; whenever I send her pictures of my confident flower arrangements, she showers me with compliments using her extensive vocabulary.

She also diligently checks this blog and provides accurate and positive comments.Her encouraging education, full of praise, is the reason why I’ve become someone who actively embraces new challenges, such as studying abroad, working with flowers in Vancouver, and becoming a web writer.I am grateful for her nurturing and the belief she instilled in me.

Beauty knowledge as an Esthetician

She has abundant knowledge in skincare and beauty practices that contribute to beauty from within, not just focusing on external elements. This is the only lesson I couldn’t inherit from my mother, haha!

My mother utilizes her knowledge and skills as an esthetician and has been doing a fantastic job in her profession. I have received esthetic treatments from her several times, and they feel so pleasant that I sometimes fall asleep during the sessions. Moreover, she has a profound understanding of all the pressure points on the face and neck that should be addressed, resulting in noticeably improved skin condition the next day.

If anyone is looking for an excellent esthetician in Aichi Prefecture, I highly recommend “Angel Heart.” The skills of both my mother and the owner are exceptional, and the atmosphere in the spa is incredibly peaceful, creating a relaxing experience that not only purifies the skin but also rejuvenates the soul.

You can find Angel Heart’s website here: https://www.spa-angel.com

I truly respect my mother, who has mastered her expertise and continues to bring happiness to numerous customers. For women, “beauty” is a significant factor in building happiness in life.

Gratitude towards my mother since coming to Vancouver

My mother lives in Aichi Prefecture, which is 7,752 km away from Vancouver.

I yearn to see her, and despite the distance, my gratitude for her grows each day. I think of her constantly. Since moving away, I have started to communicate with her more frequently than when I was in Tokyo.

However, I know that what brings her the most joy is spending time together, going on trips, and having light-hearted conversations. When I return to Japan for a month in November, I hope to spend time with her just like when I used to live at home, laughing and talking about various things in her room.

While fulfilling my curiosity and adventurous spirit, I aim to grow myself to create more time to spend with my mother. Achieving “true freedom” is my goal.

You can read more about it in this article: link to “What is True Freedom?”.

The gratitude I feel towards my family, which grows daily, is one of the significant factors that make me appreciate challenging myself to live abroad in Vancouver. Besides improving my English and meeting people and having experiences in Vancouver, this love for my family motivates me in my personal growth journey.

Here are five lessons from my father: link to “Five Lessons from My Father”.

And here are four lessons from my stepmother: link to “Four Lessons from My Stepmother”.

For those interested in studying abroad or going on a working holiday but find it difficult to take action, I recommend starting with a free consultation with a study abroad agent. Here is my recommended agent.

I send this article to my mother with heartfelt gratitude.